Sales Coaching – Watch Your Language

Danita Bye

Polish Your Proposals and Win More Work from RFPs

What is it that makes one response to an RFP better than another? Of course, there are pricing strategies, solution positioning, adherence to preferred proposal formats, and all the other nuts-and-bolts details that most books on the subject focus on. Call it the “science” part of responding to RFPs.

Today, though, we’re going to spotlight the art of winning proposals. Specifically, we’ll talk about the actual writing – the nouns, the verbs, the adverbs, and sundry. But, because I can hear readers groaning even now, let me first dispel your fears: This is not English class and I am not Mr. Chalkfinger (or whoever your Language Arts nemesis was.)

You need a Great Sales Process for Winning RFP’s

Good Writing Makes for Good Proposals

Whether you find it in a story, a newspaper article, or a proposal, good writing – the kind we’ll talk about shortly – is often the difference between a piece that’s clear, memorable, and persuasive and one that winds up in the round file. Plot’s not enough. Facts aren’t enough. Even a killer price might not be enough to stand out. That’s why the job doesn’t always – or even usually – go to the lowest bidder.

So what makes good writing good? Let’s start small. Sentences, at heart, are composed of nouns and verbs. Everything else is just adornment. Consider Bill gobbles mackerel, or shorter yet, Jesus wept. Note the power in these brief sentences. There’s not a single adjective or adverb to offend the eye. Mental static is minimized. The words fly from my word processor to your brain across months of time and miles of space, yet because they’re not weighed down by unneeded freight, the meaning is still crystal clear.

But there’s more than brevity going on here; there’s also word choice. When we write mackerel instead of fish, we’re painting the precise picture we want our reader to see. And Bill must be starving or rushed because he’s gobbling that mackerel – or he would, should any appear nearby.

Now, recall your last proposal’s executive summary. Did you offer to provide a best-in-class solution in the space? Maybe you promised to facilitate efficacious answers to otherwise unspecified problems of various natures which are faced by XYZ Corporation in the competitive arena.

Still awake? The unenviable and underpaid person who has to sift through 30 proposals built from language like that won’t be. Even if the language your proposal isn’t quite as bad, why do anything that would encourage those who vet your proposal to pass on it? Why put them to sleep with excess verbiage and weak words?

Active Writing Is Forceful Writing

While we’re on the subject of putting readers to sleep, why should passive writing be something to which you would subject those whose business is hoped to be won by you? For those who dozed through this in English, the difference between dull, plodding, passive writing and step-right-up-and-say-what-you-mean active writing is simple. Active: Bill gobbles mackerel. Passive: The mackerel is gobbled by Bill. In active writing, the subject (Bill) acts on an object (mackerel) or sometimes on no object at all (Jesus wept). Passive writing turns the equation upside down, as in the first sentence in this paragraph.

Why do writers use the convoluted passive voice? Usually, it’s because they’re afraid not to; they feel that hiding behind the passive voice sounds more intelligent and objective. After all, scientists – some of the smartest of us – use it all the time in their writing. Who are we to argue?

There are times when the passive voice is appropriate, such as when you’d like to hide the actor in a sentence (as in the kids’ favorite, Dad’s 50-inch flat-screen got scratched) or when you want to place emphasis on another part of a sentence (Red was the color of Dad’s face when he found out), though you do risk sounding like Yoda (The dark side are they). A proposal is not a scientific paper, though. It’s a sales pitch, essentially, and a sales pitch is just a fancy way of saying Buy now (as opposed to Now is the time when our state-of-the-art solution and decades of expertise should be purchased by you, young Skywalker).

So, be brief. Choose precise words. For Pete’s sake, don’t be “best-in-class” or “leverage” anything. And please, whatever you do, don’t write about business that is hoped to be won by you. Win it, instead. Remember, Bill gobbles mackerel.

Go and do likewise.

For more insights on Sales Strategy and Sales Process, visit Sales Growth Specialists

Bio: Danita Bye

Nationally recognized sales management and leadership expert Danita Bye built her reputation on building and inspiring process-oriented, no excuse, high-performance sales teams that deliver bottom line results. With her unique Fortune-100-turned-entrepreneur perspective, Danita helps CEOs and company presidents take their businesses to the next level. Her practical, no-nonsense approach to sales management, combined with her leadership acumen, enables sales leadership to increase sales, creating predictable revenue streams.

As a 10-year veteran of the Xerox Corporation, Danita consistently achieved award winning sales performance before leaving to become an equity partner and national sales manager for a Minneapolis-based medical device company. In this capacity, she increased annual revenues from $300,000 to a run rate of $20 million in just ten years.

Danita has authored numerous articles on sales management and leadership. In addition, she was a featured as a sales development expert on the TV show, “The Ruthless Entrepreneur,” which is currently airing on the Oxygen Network. Leadership Shift, Management Acceleration and a library of eBooks on critical sales management issues are available on the Sales Growth Specialists’ website.

Danita can be reached at Danita@SalesGrowthSpecialists.com, 612-267-3320 or 800-256-2799.

For more insights on Sales Strategy and Sales Process, visit www.SalesGrowthSpecialists.com.